All Class: Nepal's Caste System
Since the beginning of time, we have always dreamed of a perfect world. This has been well documented in song and verse, and virtually every other literary outlet available. Whether you are enjoying a never-ending booze binge in the Big Rock Candy Mountains, an eternal flashback with the Grateful Dead, or picturing the lamb and the lion performing the perfect Texas two-step in the bible…without the idea of a Utopia, the grand majority of this world’s population might as well mail it in.
Realistically, what we must strive for is equality. Not equality per se, mind you. History will confirm that that is little more than a glass crack pipe dream. What we are then seeking is the idea of equality. Like in the U.S., right? We like the idea that everybody has the same opportunities. That everybody is given a fair trial in court. This is what keeps luring people to the United States. Yes, people have always immigrated to the U.S. for different reasons. Yet regardless of which neck of the woods you are from, you will always be entranced by that very word equality, for that blueprint society that teaches you how to live, to treat the fellow human being with respect, and to share in the distribution of the country’s resources, etc.
And if you’ve come to Nepal to look for it, then you are in the wrong place.
When people in Nepal ask you your name, they will ask the full name, since the last name will indicate what class, or caste, as they call it here, you are from. I have already explained the expression ‘juto’, meaning ‘impure’, or ‘polluted’. If you look back over centuries, castes were divided based largely on occupations. The crème de la crème has always been the Brahmins, or the caste of priests (also known as bahuns in Nepal). These are followed by the Kshatryia, or warriors. These two castes make up the upper crust of Nepal’s society, which means they have a few more dirt piles than their neighbors in their yards.
Next in line are the Vaishya, the merchant class, who share the middle class with the Sudra, the farmers and laborers. The bottom of the barrel is made up of the ‘untouchables’, which include occupational groups such as butchers and blacksmiths (Funny. In the States we call them self-employed). The lowest of classes have rechristened themselves to Dalits, or the suppressed. According to the National Dalit Commission (yes, there is such a thing), Dalits have been identified as ‘castes from whom water is not accepted’. I'm not sure what I would do if I were the butcher. I can certainly guarantee that the Brahmins would not receive prime cuts. Or they might receive them, but with a few additional ingredients, compliments of the small intestine.
Discriminating against members of different castes was declared illegal in 1963, but it is common knowledge that discrimination is still widely practiced. The Brahmins and Kshatriya dominate the state and its politics. Most high caste Hindus don’t allow Dalits anywhere near them. In other words, if you were born a Dalit, you are virtually screwed for life.
What I am wondering here is: how does the caste system match the objectives of the ruling Maoists? A debate in parliament must sound hilarious.
Maoist 1: Comrades, we are assembled here…
Maoist 2: Some comrades, my friend. The Dalits must leave now.
Maoist 3, a Dalit: What was all this talk about equality? Socialism? Remember that? A classless society?
Maoist 1: Hm, yes, I see what you mean. Comrade, do you care to comment?
Maoist 2: This transcends socialism. A dirt bag is still a dirt bag, even if wrapped in the party colors.
Maoist 3: You call this socialism? Kiss my hairless Hindu (bleep)! Let’s just bring the king back.
Then there is the question of foreigners. Where do they fit into the caste system? It depends on whom you ask. For many, foreigners are ’polluted’ by default. We are even below the ’untouchables’, or the Dalits. We are then the Super Dalits, the beefeaters who also drink Beefeaters, among many other brands.
Wow.
So we are super-scum. Lower than the flies.
I have an idea. How about this, Brahmins? Let's watch Uncle Sam become Sam Copperfield and put on a little disppearing act. Those millions of dollars in aid you receive each year? Let’s try a little trick here. Now you see them…now you don’t! Let’s see your sorry Brahmin mouths drink river water from the Bagmati (river in Kathmandu). How does that taste? Comes in three flavors: cow urine, toxic waste, and funeral pyre!
Super Dalit? Great to be called that by a, uh, warrior class. Too bad you border India and China, countries that boast two of the largest armies in the world. Little opportunity to actually prove you might be worthy of that warrior label, eh? Just because your ancestors might have whacked a few dogs and unarmed peasants a millennium ago hardly makes you a warrior in our day and age.
I can also picture a tourist walking downtown, trailed by a boy who is probably poorer than a cockroach in a soap factory.
Boy: Rupee, sir! Rupee!
Tourist: Well, let’s see. I am an American. What does that make me?
Boy: A Super Dalit!
Tourist: I see. You don’t really want that rupee, do you?
Boy: I do. Rupee, sir! Please!
Tourist: Okay. Who am I again? Remember, lying is a sin.
Boy: A Super Dalit!
etc.
Repeat until boy leaves you alone or drops from exhaustion. Should the latter happen, bend over and proceed to take the boy’s money.
Of course, there are others who consider us Super Brahmins, since we are very white, very rich, and very educated. Here they must apply extra Blistex to pucker up and liberally kiss western tail. Now we’re talking. People are still people here, Hindu or Buddhist or Elephant goddess, meaning you can bribe them like anybody else. That's the only concept of equality here that I can decipher so far.
Realistically, what we must strive for is equality. Not equality per se, mind you. History will confirm that that is little more than a glass crack pipe dream. What we are then seeking is the idea of equality. Like in the U.S., right? We like the idea that everybody has the same opportunities. That everybody is given a fair trial in court. This is what keeps luring people to the United States. Yes, people have always immigrated to the U.S. for different reasons. Yet regardless of which neck of the woods you are from, you will always be entranced by that very word equality, for that blueprint society that teaches you how to live, to treat the fellow human being with respect, and to share in the distribution of the country’s resources, etc.
And if you’ve come to Nepal to look for it, then you are in the wrong place.
When people in Nepal ask you your name, they will ask the full name, since the last name will indicate what class, or caste, as they call it here, you are from. I have already explained the expression ‘juto’, meaning ‘impure’, or ‘polluted’. If you look back over centuries, castes were divided based largely on occupations. The crème de la crème has always been the Brahmins, or the caste of priests (also known as bahuns in Nepal). These are followed by the Kshatryia, or warriors. These two castes make up the upper crust of Nepal’s society, which means they have a few more dirt piles than their neighbors in their yards.
Next in line are the Vaishya, the merchant class, who share the middle class with the Sudra, the farmers and laborers. The bottom of the barrel is made up of the ‘untouchables’, which include occupational groups such as butchers and blacksmiths (Funny. In the States we call them self-employed). The lowest of classes have rechristened themselves to Dalits, or the suppressed. According to the National Dalit Commission (yes, there is such a thing), Dalits have been identified as ‘castes from whom water is not accepted’. I'm not sure what I would do if I were the butcher. I can certainly guarantee that the Brahmins would not receive prime cuts. Or they might receive them, but with a few additional ingredients, compliments of the small intestine.
Discriminating against members of different castes was declared illegal in 1963, but it is common knowledge that discrimination is still widely practiced. The Brahmins and Kshatriya dominate the state and its politics. Most high caste Hindus don’t allow Dalits anywhere near them. In other words, if you were born a Dalit, you are virtually screwed for life.
What I am wondering here is: how does the caste system match the objectives of the ruling Maoists? A debate in parliament must sound hilarious.
Maoist 1: Comrades, we are assembled here…
Maoist 2: Some comrades, my friend. The Dalits must leave now.
Maoist 3, a Dalit: What was all this talk about equality? Socialism? Remember that? A classless society?
Maoist 1: Hm, yes, I see what you mean. Comrade, do you care to comment?
Maoist 2: This transcends socialism. A dirt bag is still a dirt bag, even if wrapped in the party colors.
Maoist 3: You call this socialism? Kiss my hairless Hindu (bleep)! Let’s just bring the king back.
Then there is the question of foreigners. Where do they fit into the caste system? It depends on whom you ask. For many, foreigners are ’polluted’ by default. We are even below the ’untouchables’, or the Dalits. We are then the Super Dalits, the beefeaters who also drink Beefeaters, among many other brands.
Wow.
So we are super-scum. Lower than the flies.
I have an idea. How about this, Brahmins? Let's watch Uncle Sam become Sam Copperfield and put on a little disppearing act. Those millions of dollars in aid you receive each year? Let’s try a little trick here. Now you see them…now you don’t! Let’s see your sorry Brahmin mouths drink river water from the Bagmati (river in Kathmandu). How does that taste? Comes in three flavors: cow urine, toxic waste, and funeral pyre!
Super Dalit? Great to be called that by a, uh, warrior class. Too bad you border India and China, countries that boast two of the largest armies in the world. Little opportunity to actually prove you might be worthy of that warrior label, eh? Just because your ancestors might have whacked a few dogs and unarmed peasants a millennium ago hardly makes you a warrior in our day and age.
I can also picture a tourist walking downtown, trailed by a boy who is probably poorer than a cockroach in a soap factory.
Boy: Rupee, sir! Rupee!
Tourist: Well, let’s see. I am an American. What does that make me?
Boy: A Super Dalit!
Tourist: I see. You don’t really want that rupee, do you?
Boy: I do. Rupee, sir! Please!
Tourist: Okay. Who am I again? Remember, lying is a sin.
Boy: A Super Dalit!
etc.
Repeat until boy leaves you alone or drops from exhaustion. Should the latter happen, bend over and proceed to take the boy’s money.
Of course, there are others who consider us Super Brahmins, since we are very white, very rich, and very educated. Here they must apply extra Blistex to pucker up and liberally kiss western tail. Now we’re talking. People are still people here, Hindu or Buddhist or Elephant goddess, meaning you can bribe them like anybody else. That's the only concept of equality here that I can decipher so far.
0 comments