I am not a fair-weather guy, literally. I don't mind a steady drop of rain (or a shower, storm, or monsoon once in a while), nor can I really claim that I become straitjacket material once the temperatures dip, the snow falls, and the skies turn grey until you're convinced you're some character in Wuthering Heights.
It is January 2008 in Jordan, which translates to temperatures in the low 50's and nights around the freezing point. To listen to most Jordanians tell it, you would think that they have been locked up in a gigantic icebox where they say good morning and good night to chicken legs and lima beans. Understandable, I admit. They can't even contemplate the climactic severity of some of the regions back in the States. Wonder if they all would still want to emigrate as badly as they say they do. If a Jordanian won the visa lottery and were to move to Minneapolis in the dead of winter, what then?
Jordanian (at the airport): God bless the USA. I am so happy to be hear.
Immigration official: Congratulations. Enjoy your stay. Taxis are outside.
Jordanian (outside, in sub zero temperatures): Uh, no. Can I give this green card back?
I am not sure Jordanians would take to ice fishing or ice skating, either. And since they drive like jackasses to begin with, they might want to consider public transportation. I have little doubt that most Jordanians would be fiscally responsible enough not to earn a bad credit report, but I 'm not sure that would make up for every auto insurance company denying them coverage even for good weather, let alone when they need to navigate and actually show some skill in the miserable winter months.
And who can blame the Jordanians? I lived in Southern California for many years of my life, and I still think the weather is preferable here. Between May and November, the average temperature in Amman is around 90, warm, but with a steady gentle breeze, courtesy of the seven hills the city was built on and the 1000 m altitude. Even I like evenings on the patio then, and sitting in the backyard with the family, strumming my guitar and drinking whiskey sours. You couldn't do that if it were too hot or if there were too much wind. I can safely say that I can never recall a single day in Amman that I thought was too hot, although my wife might disagree with me there. There are a few days that have reached 100 degrees, but even those never bothered me.
People who spent a summer in places like New York or Washington will know exactly what I mean. I'll take an Amman 110 over a New York 90 any day. Ever wait for a subway on a hot summer day in midtown Manhattan? I once had one black dude remark to another (and I am not making this up) that it was 'hotter than a slave ship' down there. I doubt that that analogy could ever be tested, but I did feel like a rotisserie chicken being zapped back to life by the flames.
So Jordan, a country roughly the size of Maine, has a smiling sun with shades and the color of a Coppertone model, right? Those pissed off suns in New York and Washington stay where they are and assist the thugs in drive-by shootings and exist for one reason only, which is to liberally dispense with lavish gifts such as heat strokes and skin cancer. The Jordanian sun by its mere gentle presence will brighten up your day, save you the bucks you would plunk down for a tanning salon and maybe even help you obtain your daily Vitamin A, C, and B12 rations, right? Wrong. Dead wrong. As in Dead Sea wrong.
Only thirty minutes from here and a thousand meters below, the sun stiffens, colonies of flies come out to play and cover every available part of open skin, and you finally begin to understand the meaning of 'hell on earth'. You begin to think that a corpse couldn't attract that many flies. Only thirty minutes from here! The temperatures climb by at least ten degrees, you are wiping your forehead more frequently than a groom in front of the altar standing next to his bride-to-be, and suddenly an air conditioner seems like a good idea, even though you are assisting in wiping out the primary habitat for polar bears.
And that doesn't even compare to the Red Sea at the other end of this country. How about 20 degrees F more in Aqaba, plus a muggy atmosphere coating the vicinity like a brick oven enveloping a pizza? No breeze down there, only waves of heat relentlessly attacking like an army of pissed off fire ants. Nice for a vacation. But to live there? Nice weather if I were a scorpion.
No, I think Amman still has the best weather in Jordan. Take Petra, the Dead and Red Sea, and sweat to the Oldies without the gym equipment as much as you want. There's a good reason most people live in Amman, and it's not just for economic opportunities. It's the only place in the country where life can function properly, thanks to a chain of mountains and a benevolent sun.
It is January 2008 in Jordan, which translates to temperatures in the low 50's and nights around the freezing point. To listen to most Jordanians tell it, you would think that they have been locked up in a gigantic icebox where they say good morning and good night to chicken legs and lima beans. Understandable, I admit. They can't even contemplate the climactic severity of some of the regions back in the States. Wonder if they all would still want to emigrate as badly as they say they do. If a Jordanian won the visa lottery and were to move to Minneapolis in the dead of winter, what then?
Jordanian (at the airport): God bless the USA. I am so happy to be hear.
Immigration official: Congratulations. Enjoy your stay. Taxis are outside.
Jordanian (outside, in sub zero temperatures): Uh, no. Can I give this green card back?
I am not sure Jordanians would take to ice fishing or ice skating, either. And since they drive like jackasses to begin with, they might want to consider public transportation. I have little doubt that most Jordanians would be fiscally responsible enough not to earn a bad credit report, but I 'm not sure that would make up for every auto insurance company denying them coverage even for good weather, let alone when they need to navigate and actually show some skill in the miserable winter months.
And who can blame the Jordanians? I lived in Southern California for many years of my life, and I still think the weather is preferable here. Between May and November, the average temperature in Amman is around 90, warm, but with a steady gentle breeze, courtesy of the seven hills the city was built on and the 1000 m altitude. Even I like evenings on the patio then, and sitting in the backyard with the family, strumming my guitar and drinking whiskey sours. You couldn't do that if it were too hot or if there were too much wind. I can safely say that I can never recall a single day in Amman that I thought was too hot, although my wife might disagree with me there. There are a few days that have reached 100 degrees, but even those never bothered me.
People who spent a summer in places like New York or Washington will know exactly what I mean. I'll take an Amman 110 over a New York 90 any day. Ever wait for a subway on a hot summer day in midtown Manhattan? I once had one black dude remark to another (and I am not making this up) that it was 'hotter than a slave ship' down there. I doubt that that analogy could ever be tested, but I did feel like a rotisserie chicken being zapped back to life by the flames.
So Jordan, a country roughly the size of Maine, has a smiling sun with shades and the color of a Coppertone model, right? Those pissed off suns in New York and Washington stay where they are and assist the thugs in drive-by shootings and exist for one reason only, which is to liberally dispense with lavish gifts such as heat strokes and skin cancer. The Jordanian sun by its mere gentle presence will brighten up your day, save you the bucks you would plunk down for a tanning salon and maybe even help you obtain your daily Vitamin A, C, and B12 rations, right? Wrong. Dead wrong. As in Dead Sea wrong.
Only thirty minutes from here and a thousand meters below, the sun stiffens, colonies of flies come out to play and cover every available part of open skin, and you finally begin to understand the meaning of 'hell on earth'. You begin to think that a corpse couldn't attract that many flies. Only thirty minutes from here! The temperatures climb by at least ten degrees, you are wiping your forehead more frequently than a groom in front of the altar standing next to his bride-to-be, and suddenly an air conditioner seems like a good idea, even though you are assisting in wiping out the primary habitat for polar bears.
And that doesn't even compare to the Red Sea at the other end of this country. How about 20 degrees F more in Aqaba, plus a muggy atmosphere coating the vicinity like a brick oven enveloping a pizza? No breeze down there, only waves of heat relentlessly attacking like an army of pissed off fire ants. Nice for a vacation. But to live there? Nice weather if I were a scorpion.
No, I think Amman still has the best weather in Jordan. Take Petra, the Dead and Red Sea, and sweat to the Oldies without the gym equipment as much as you want. There's a good reason most people live in Amman, and it's not just for economic opportunities. It's the only place in the country where life can function properly, thanks to a chain of mountains and a benevolent sun.
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