A Different Duality
After living in Morocco for over two years and now in Amman for almost one and a half, Arabs still fascinate me. No, I'm not talking about the mosques and those neat little minarets twisting into the sky, adorned by the bullhorns protruding from the side or topped by the little crescents. I have long gotten over the call to prayer, which by now is as common as the Pop goes the Weasel tune blaring from an ice cream truck on a hot summer day in Brooklyn. The hookah pipes in the various cafes are no longer a novelty, nor are the Camels you can spot on the horizon on your way to the Red Sea.
This is about the Arabs themselves. First off, I have no doubt whatsoever that what I am about to describe is your common culture shock, and whereas shocks like these invariably subside with time regardless of the country you live in, some events still prompt the raising of an eyebrow or a slow headshake. Ask any Arab who has lived in the United States about culture shock. See what I mean?
The one thing that is most prominent is the gentleness and warmth exuding from the Arabs. These people, unlike so many in the west, have every right to still call themselves human beings. They have a code that allows them to communicate with each other that more than not can result in an understanding minus the voice going up a few octaves or fists pummeling your face until you resemble Mr. Potato Head. I can honestly say I have never felt threatened as long as I've lived in the Arab world, I have never been yelled at (except by kids, of course), and for the most part I have always been treated with the utmost courtesy and respect, no matter which class, race or religion the Arab represented.
It seems this humanity has been stamped out in the western world. If you found people like this in the States or Europe, what would happen? Let's face it: you would withdraw, wonder about the man's sexuality, and distrust would reign before the foundation of a new rapport has been built. Communication seems so easy here, they should bottle it and market it. Not true, a lot of the locals here would say. People here fight each other as regularly as Punch and Judy. Jealousy is a common trait here. I admit I have often seen people deal with others in a backhand way that resembles bickering middle schoolers scheming in the gym. Still, we in the west are not immune to these character flaws either, and I still have rarely seen these little battles escalate into full blown wars. People take a long time greeting each other, they bend over backward to make sure people feel welcome, and their hospitality is still something I have yet to see duplicated anywhere in the west.
Ah, but then there's the flip side of the coin. That same person who just smiled at you and wished you God's speed on your way home might have just slowed you down and cut you off in traffic, creating a new traffic law in the process that has you praying for the road ahead of you to open up and yank the car into a huge wave of flames. So, there are only two lanes that can take you to the supermarket and both of them are full? That's what they invented anarchy for - create a third lane that has you scraping the sides of the two cars on each side. So there is only one lane in which you can turn. Improvise! Create! In this case, a second lane, which will find you passing the car as you turn. If a westerner never suffered from road rage before the Middle East, he will come down with a full bout by the end of the first week, guaranteed.
In traffic, human beings become merely devices to steer and manoeuver cars, and it is everyone for himself. It's not much different in a store, or a post office. Are you standing in line with two people ahead of you? You should have cut to the front like they do here, chump. It's amazing how the few people who have actually discovered the courtesy of waiting in line won't reprimand Mr. Fast Lane for believing his business is more urgent than yours, how his stamp must be bought and his letter must be sent before yours, common sense and courtesy be damned. Would you call this selfishness? No, people just don't know any better. They have lived in a chaotic state for centuries without such minor hassles as queues or traffic lights and street signs to impede their journey through life. It is not willful or intentional, it's a prominent feature of their culture that you have to imbibe as much as their tea and their mesmerizing hospitality.
It's a duality you will and eventually can live with.
This is about the Arabs themselves. First off, I have no doubt whatsoever that what I am about to describe is your common culture shock, and whereas shocks like these invariably subside with time regardless of the country you live in, some events still prompt the raising of an eyebrow or a slow headshake. Ask any Arab who has lived in the United States about culture shock. See what I mean?
The one thing that is most prominent is the gentleness and warmth exuding from the Arabs. These people, unlike so many in the west, have every right to still call themselves human beings. They have a code that allows them to communicate with each other that more than not can result in an understanding minus the voice going up a few octaves or fists pummeling your face until you resemble Mr. Potato Head. I can honestly say I have never felt threatened as long as I've lived in the Arab world, I have never been yelled at (except by kids, of course), and for the most part I have always been treated with the utmost courtesy and respect, no matter which class, race or religion the Arab represented.
It seems this humanity has been stamped out in the western world. If you found people like this in the States or Europe, what would happen? Let's face it: you would withdraw, wonder about the man's sexuality, and distrust would reign before the foundation of a new rapport has been built. Communication seems so easy here, they should bottle it and market it. Not true, a lot of the locals here would say. People here fight each other as regularly as Punch and Judy. Jealousy is a common trait here. I admit I have often seen people deal with others in a backhand way that resembles bickering middle schoolers scheming in the gym. Still, we in the west are not immune to these character flaws either, and I still have rarely seen these little battles escalate into full blown wars. People take a long time greeting each other, they bend over backward to make sure people feel welcome, and their hospitality is still something I have yet to see duplicated anywhere in the west.
Ah, but then there's the flip side of the coin. That same person who just smiled at you and wished you God's speed on your way home might have just slowed you down and cut you off in traffic, creating a new traffic law in the process that has you praying for the road ahead of you to open up and yank the car into a huge wave of flames. So, there are only two lanes that can take you to the supermarket and both of them are full? That's what they invented anarchy for - create a third lane that has you scraping the sides of the two cars on each side. So there is only one lane in which you can turn. Improvise! Create! In this case, a second lane, which will find you passing the car as you turn. If a westerner never suffered from road rage before the Middle East, he will come down with a full bout by the end of the first week, guaranteed.
In traffic, human beings become merely devices to steer and manoeuver cars, and it is everyone for himself. It's not much different in a store, or a post office. Are you standing in line with two people ahead of you? You should have cut to the front like they do here, chump. It's amazing how the few people who have actually discovered the courtesy of waiting in line won't reprimand Mr. Fast Lane for believing his business is more urgent than yours, how his stamp must be bought and his letter must be sent before yours, common sense and courtesy be damned. Would you call this selfishness? No, people just don't know any better. They have lived in a chaotic state for centuries without such minor hassles as queues or traffic lights and street signs to impede their journey through life. It is not willful or intentional, it's a prominent feature of their culture that you have to imbibe as much as their tea and their mesmerizing hospitality.
It's a duality you will and eventually can live with.
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