Anybody who’s ever been to an Arabic country will quickly deduct that anywhere, from Morocco to the Emirates, people like to sing and dance. The music is as versatile as the taste can be moderate, bizarre, and downright loathsome at times.
For a long time, Turkish music as dictated by the rule of the Ottoman Empire dominated the scene in the Middle East in particular, at least until the 20th century, when countries like Egypt gained their independence after more than 2000 years (!) of foreign rule. With that came a wave of nationalism. People then rather took a secular approach to music then, unlike today.
Some of the oldest popular songs are comparable to plays as they can go on for dozens of minutes. Hardly the three-minute canned sound byte we have grown accustomed to in the West. These are more folk songs that tell stories, invariably of broken hearts (what else?). Accompanied by an Arabic orchestra, I could imagine that there wouldn’t be much of a market for these songs if they were to produce a TOP 40 show featuring these tunes. I bet you it would wear awfully thin by the time we reach #30. That, and the fact that the TOP 40 would be a week long, maybe even a month if they insisted on airing commercials.
Today’s pop looks a little different. Arabic pop is usually western styled songs, albeit with Arabic instruments and lyrics. Who hasn’t heard the omnipresent strings in the typical Arabic pop song? It is a perfect mix, where east meets west. People who have been to these parts know exactly what I mean. More than anything else, even more so than the camels and the veiled women, does this contribute to the realization that, yes, you have landed in a rabbit hole, where Alice and the rabbit look and sound completely different.
If you watch Arabic music channels, you can watch hundreds of pop videos, where men and women seductively dance and sing, usually backed up by an entire troupe of dancers a la Michael Jackson or Madonna. Many of the more traditional Arabs, needless to say, are not down with this risqué behavior, the scantily clad women singing and dancing in public, but they are an overwhelming minority.
Most of these singers look stunning, although the make-up can ruin even the finest looking Arab. There are few blond and blue-eyed Arabs, so you would think that people would seek a little more variety, the one the Americans enjoy. You know, a Britney Spears here, a Norah Jones and a Janet Jackson there. I never tire of watching these Arabs. They look just fine to me.
Except that, unfortunately, all songs do have lyrics. Don’t get me wrong, I have heard some pretty silly lyrics, but the Arabs probably take the cake. And that’s pretty difficult to do, considering that I don’t even understand most lyrics. Fact is, if the song does not feature the word ‘Allah’ (God) or ‘Habibi’ (Baby) in every other sentence, it doesn’t qualify as an Arabic pop song. These people have positively perfected the concept of schmaltz. What do they do to the singer who omits a ‘Habibi’? Stone him?
Those who prefer western pop music –and there are many who do- have such bad taste that you have to wonder whether it wouldn’t be prudent to just remove the taste buds of these people at birth. Whenever they mention their favorite singers or songs, they will mention Michael Jackson, Elton John, Kenny Rogers, or the Bee Gees. Not bad per se, except that that was, oh, last century? And yet, I could name a few countries where ‘The Gambler’ is the unofficial national anthem. Equally remarkable is the fact that Islam looks down on gambling.
Finally there are just songs that people listen to ad nauseum. Good Lord. I am then not ashamed to skip the pleasantries and simply throw up in the car right then and there. Take the song ‘You’re Beautiful’. God, you can’t imagine how much I hate that song. And it’s not the jackass who sings it, but the Arabs who keep listening to it once per hour on the radio. ‘Have you ever really loved a Woman’ by Bryan Adams? Before Jordan, I was ready just to ignore it. Now I am ready to proclaim this song the official anthem of HELL.
The playlist from Hell also includes tunes like ‘The Power of Love’ by Celine Dion, ‘One more Night’, by Phil Collins, and ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’, by Bonnie Tyler.
I strongly advise people visiting these parts to BYOCD or just listen to Arabic pop tunes, even if you will reach for a pistol after too many ‘Habibis’ and ‘Allahs’ in the lyrics. Just don’t listen to the western soft rock being played here. Hard to believe that I was once such a fervent opponent of burning records.
For a long time, Turkish music as dictated by the rule of the Ottoman Empire dominated the scene in the Middle East in particular, at least until the 20th century, when countries like Egypt gained their independence after more than 2000 years (!) of foreign rule. With that came a wave of nationalism. People then rather took a secular approach to music then, unlike today.
Some of the oldest popular songs are comparable to plays as they can go on for dozens of minutes. Hardly the three-minute canned sound byte we have grown accustomed to in the West. These are more folk songs that tell stories, invariably of broken hearts (what else?). Accompanied by an Arabic orchestra, I could imagine that there wouldn’t be much of a market for these songs if they were to produce a TOP 40 show featuring these tunes. I bet you it would wear awfully thin by the time we reach #30. That, and the fact that the TOP 40 would be a week long, maybe even a month if they insisted on airing commercials.
Today’s pop looks a little different. Arabic pop is usually western styled songs, albeit with Arabic instruments and lyrics. Who hasn’t heard the omnipresent strings in the typical Arabic pop song? It is a perfect mix, where east meets west. People who have been to these parts know exactly what I mean. More than anything else, even more so than the camels and the veiled women, does this contribute to the realization that, yes, you have landed in a rabbit hole, where Alice and the rabbit look and sound completely different.
If you watch Arabic music channels, you can watch hundreds of pop videos, where men and women seductively dance and sing, usually backed up by an entire troupe of dancers a la Michael Jackson or Madonna. Many of the more traditional Arabs, needless to say, are not down with this risqué behavior, the scantily clad women singing and dancing in public, but they are an overwhelming minority.
Most of these singers look stunning, although the make-up can ruin even the finest looking Arab. There are few blond and blue-eyed Arabs, so you would think that people would seek a little more variety, the one the Americans enjoy. You know, a Britney Spears here, a Norah Jones and a Janet Jackson there. I never tire of watching these Arabs. They look just fine to me.
Except that, unfortunately, all songs do have lyrics. Don’t get me wrong, I have heard some pretty silly lyrics, but the Arabs probably take the cake. And that’s pretty difficult to do, considering that I don’t even understand most lyrics. Fact is, if the song does not feature the word ‘Allah’ (God) or ‘Habibi’ (Baby) in every other sentence, it doesn’t qualify as an Arabic pop song. These people have positively perfected the concept of schmaltz. What do they do to the singer who omits a ‘Habibi’? Stone him?
Those who prefer western pop music –and there are many who do- have such bad taste that you have to wonder whether it wouldn’t be prudent to just remove the taste buds of these people at birth. Whenever they mention their favorite singers or songs, they will mention Michael Jackson, Elton John, Kenny Rogers, or the Bee Gees. Not bad per se, except that that was, oh, last century? And yet, I could name a few countries where ‘The Gambler’ is the unofficial national anthem. Equally remarkable is the fact that Islam looks down on gambling.
Finally there are just songs that people listen to ad nauseum. Good Lord. I am then not ashamed to skip the pleasantries and simply throw up in the car right then and there. Take the song ‘You’re Beautiful’. God, you can’t imagine how much I hate that song. And it’s not the jackass who sings it, but the Arabs who keep listening to it once per hour on the radio. ‘Have you ever really loved a Woman’ by Bryan Adams? Before Jordan, I was ready just to ignore it. Now I am ready to proclaim this song the official anthem of HELL.
The playlist from Hell also includes tunes like ‘The Power of Love’ by Celine Dion, ‘One more Night’, by Phil Collins, and ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’, by Bonnie Tyler.
I strongly advise people visiting these parts to BYOCD or just listen to Arabic pop tunes, even if you will reach for a pistol after too many ‘Habibis’ and ‘Allahs’ in the lyrics. Just don’t listen to the western soft rock being played here. Hard to believe that I was once such a fervent opponent of burning records.
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