The TOP 10 Things I didn’t miss about the USA
In the last post, I elaborated on the things I
missed the most about the States. Contrary to that, these are ten things I wish
would go away in the land of plenty.
1.
Elections: if anybody out there has
an election cycle that can match the US for tastelessness and sheer stupidity,
please let me know. Every election cycle, it’s the same parties, the same
people, and the same non issues.
2.
The culture of cars: it’s the year
2016, climate change is real, and the USA marches ahead in the 21st
century bent on contributing to modern life...by relying on fossil fuels.
Bicycles, anyone? Trains? Even walking? Hard to do when there are hardly any
sidewalks in this town. As usual, the automobile is king here. Catch 22, I admit, since it's not like we're pouring the cheap gasoline into the river.
3.
Nutrition: all right, so I pointed
out the luxury of having American supermarkets. What is unfortunate is that
there are people who will jump off a cliff before eating a green salad. Too
many people can’t get over the daily burger and fries and coke habit. Junkin' is still a lifestyle.
4.
Strip malls: the backbone of any
small business, the only thing that would be more of an eyesore than aged strip
malls would be containers or running a business from out of a trailer.
5.
Commercials: one reason it’s hard to
sit through a TV show or a football game are the commercials that own the
airwaves as much as anything. It matters very little that it’s American
commercials, arguably the most original and funniest in the biz. Too much is too much.
6.
The medical-industrial complex:
besides healthcare being too expensive and inefficient, we still need to pay
for the multiple layers of bureaucracy. Submit a form here (by snail mail, of
course), re-send one here after it was rejected. We are still propping up 19th
century practices in a 21st century world.
7.
RIP, customer service: remember how
the customer used to be king? The Americans allegedly invented that concept.
Now being a customer feels like being a voter on Election Day. You just don’t
know when you will be getting the short end of the stick again.
8.
Overdone patriotism: at an RV lot
(yep, a guy selling RV’s), there is this flag waving that has to be twice the
size of the biggest RV. Uh, we get it, jackass. You’re on our side. Now what
can you really do for us?
9.
Christian fundamentalism: more about
this when we talk about Election Day. For now, let’s just say that praying for
rain is a more feasible practice for these people during droughts than actual
water conservation.
10. I
am a rock, I am an island: of course, there is a huge wall around the US, even
though Trump hasn’t built it yet. Allegedly, there are countries, cultures, and
languages somewhere else in the world. Even with GPS’s now a dime a dozen, we
have yet to locate them.
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