In vino veritas - The Wine Fest

by - Monday, August 20, 2018

One favorite German stereotype of Germany is the Lederhosen-wearing, pretzel-eating, beer-swilling guy who drunkenly bobs his head to the sounds of the tuba playing band, all of this in a cozy beer tent, mind you. 

Although this might ring true for a fraction of a fraction of Lower Bavarians visiting the Oktoberfest, people can go ahead and trash everything but the beer-swilling bit. Fact is, Germans, and in particular, Bavarians, are still among the per capita leaders in beer consumption. Not that difficult, when you consider that beer has the official status of nutrition rather than alcohol itself. Let's focus on that a little more in this post.

If you are the prototypical tourist, you want to visit the Oktoberfest, with all of its crowds and mug-carrying dirndl-wearing waitresses, no matter how old it gets. I've been there two or three times, the last time in the 90's, and I can safely say I'll never be going back there. 
One, I grew up with a far smaller, but not less appealing version of the Oktoberfest. It's called a wine fest. It's actually spelled Weinfest here in Germany, as a disclaimer, but it is exactly what it reads like: a party or festival celebrating wine. Müller-Thurgau, Riesling, Silvaner, Bacchus there are all types. Dry, semi-dry, sweet, there's something for every palate. The only thing they haven't invented yet is alcohol-free wine, although you can make a strong case that's what they have grape juice for. The reason grape juice isn't as popular? For the same reason coca farmers in Bolivia don't grow potatoes as their main crop. It's just not that profitable. 

Having grown up in wine country in Lower Franconia, I've known these winefests all of my life. Every village, and I mean literally every village, has a wine fest, usually sponsored by your local winemakers.

What happens during a wine fest? It really depends on the village or town where it takes place. In a village, you pretty much seal off Main Street, or whatever name it goes by, for a couple of days. You break out rows and rows of benches, up go the vending trailers, and please don't forget the stage.

When it comes right down to it, the wine fest is the excuse for local wine vendors to sell their booze, all in a comfortable setting. Of course, there are several food options to go along with the live music.

Everybody in the village shows up at the wine fest, with very few exceptions: the mayor, the priest, the doctor, the farmer, the town drunk, the village idiot. The wine fest is for everyone. 

As for the live music: I've been to wine fests that have hired folk duos, jazz quartets, and four or five piece rock bands. The best wine fests have all the bells and whistles; in other words, there's a 20 piece orchestra with the brass, the background singers, and the accordion. Those are always the most fun.

Think Oktoberfest, with the fine distinction that this isn't happening in a city, and where wine and not beer is imbibed. And the fact that it's the party minus the crowd and less than half the price. 

Wine fests usually happen in summer, when the days are long and the sun sets around 10:30 p.m., and it is actually warm enough to sit outside in short sleeves. Needless to say, the wine fest needs to be on the weekend. Start on Friday evening, end on Sunday. Double check your calendar and choose wisely, since your wine fest will most certainly not be the only one happening in Franconia on that weekend. For example, you might not want to have your wine fest on the same weekend as one of the bigger towns or even cities, like Kitzingen or Würzburg. In fact, Würzburg alone has six wine fests alone that I know of every year, and I'm sure even more. The real wine connoisseurs rarely miss those. 

One problem: as a tourist, many of these people in the villages might not speak English or your language of choice, so you might want to come armed with a few basic sentences, like how to order wine and food. Aside from that, you're set. I'll still take a wine fest over the Oktoberfest any day. 

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